


who's to say which side is losing?

by pawn_vs_player



Series: DefectTale [5]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: A Bit Not Good, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Apathy, Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, Flowey is soulless, Friendship, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, POV Sans, POV Second Person, Pre-Undertale, Sans Has Issues, Sans and Flowey Friendship, Sans is a sociopath, Sociopathy, Unconventional Friendship, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 00:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7991218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pawn_vs_player/pseuds/pawn_vs_player
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every once in a while, when you say "sorry" or "love you, bro" or "that's hilarious", you almost mean it. </p><p> </p><p>(Sans is A Bit Not Good. Flowey understands.)<br/>((Title bastardized from BBC Sherlock.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	who's to say which side is losing?

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love Flowey and Sans interacting, and while I love them bickering and fighting and being BAMF while trying to kill each other, I also accidently ended up liking them somehow being friends?? Like... legit friends?? Who insult each other and fight a lot, sure, but friends???  
> I have no idea how that happened.  
> So... yeah. One sentence just stuck in my head and unfolded into this oneshot.  
> This is such a weird concept, I'm sorry, I just hope you have a good time reading it.

Papyrus says "I LOVE YOU" a lot.

He says it to you every morning, every night, in between. He says it to spaghetti and snowflakes and puzzles and his scarf.

Papyrus gets angry a lot. At you, your puns and your laziness and your mess.

He's enthusiastic, and optimistic, and kind, and sweet, and a little naive, and charismatic, and emotional, and he loves you. Papyrus loves a lot of things, in a lot of different ways, but you know you're probably the one he loves most.

You say "i love you" plenty, too. You never leave him hanging. He deserves more than that.

He means it. He doesn't lie, or when he does, it's so terrible no one believes it for a moment. Papyrus is genuine, in his love and his anger and his- his everything.

Every once in a while, maybe when you're tucking him in or he's carrying you back to the house or he's so happy there are stars in his eyes, you say "i love you", and it almost doesn't feel like a lie.

Every once in a while, maybe when you didn't hear him tell him he loves you or you messed up more than usual or you came home too late and drunk, you tell him "i'm sorry", and you almost mean it.

Every once in a while, maybe when the lady behind the door laughs harder than usual or Papyrus' face contorts in some new way or Undyne's eyebrows almost become one when she glares, you can almost laugh without forcing it. 

You've always been taught that monsters are sustained by souls and magic, and that both are powered by emotion. If that's true, you have no idea what you are, but it's not a monster.

You don't know when this started, if you were ever different. You have no idea if you used to be like Papyrus when you were a babybones, because you remember when he was that young, and he was just as sweet and enthusiastic then as now.

You wonder what your parents thought of you, if you've always been like this. You wonder what they'd think of a baby who never cried or laughed, whose face never stopped smiling because that's how your mouth was shaped when you were born. A baby who did things when told, but never took the initiative.

You look after Papyrus because he's familiar, and he puts up with you, and he loves you, and you know that's important. You know it is, even if you can't quite understand why.

The woman behind the door speaks of lost family, broken marriage and dead children. Undyne talks about Alphys with hearts in her eye. Papyrus ogles Mettaton whenever the robot comes on TV. Grillby doesn't talk about family much- doesn't speak much at all- but he has a daughter, and he loves her. 

You love Papyrus, you think. Maybe. Probably. If you love anyone, it's Papyrus, but you don't know how love feels. You don't really know how anything feels except pain.

 

You're walking through the woods outside Snowdin for the sake of something to do when you see a flash of bright yellow in the fields of white. A flower, like the ones in the Ruins. 

The flower is moving, and as you creep closer, you hear it muttering. It's alive.

You grab it with your magic. It yelps, twisting around to look at you. It has a face- an angry one. It glares at you, teeth bared. Its teeth are sharp.

"What the hell are you doing?!" it demands, wriggling. "Let me go, you- you smiley trashbag!"

You snort.

"bud, that was terrible," you tell it.

It sniffs. "So was that."

*You check the flower's stats.

Its name is Flowey.

It has no soul.

It's alive.

He has no soul.

He's alive.

"what the..."

"Hey!" Flowey wriggles harder. "Let me go already!"

"...you're soulless."

He freezes. "...Yeah, what of it?"

"how do you feel?"

"I don't!" he snarls, fighting your magic again. "I'm an emotionless husk, is that what you wanted to hear? Now let go!"

"i don't either," you say abruptly, good judgement overridden.

"What?"

"i don't feel either."

Flowey squints at you. "But... you have a soul."

You shrug. "yeah. still don't feel."

Flowey squints harder.

You let go.

Flowey shoots under the snow, disappearing. You go back to Snowdin. The wind is cold against your ribs.

 

Papyrus makes spaghetti, scolds you for not being at your post. You don't taste the food. You don't care about the admonishment.

You tell him you're sorry. You're lying.

 

Flowey pops up in front of your 'dog stand.

"I don't like you," he says. 

You shrug. "i know," you say. "what'd you spring up here for, then?"

He sighs at you. "I was  _going_ to ask if you wanted to see the sun, but if you're going to keep punning-"

"no, no," you say. If there's anything you can feel, it's curiosity. You did used to be a scientist, after all. "take me."

"It's past the door, in the Ruins," Flowey tells you. "Do any of your shortcuts take you there?"

Your grin is unwavering.

"bud," you say. "they take me everywhere."

You snap your fingers.

You stand in a field of golden flowers, just like Flowey but minus the face and the attitude.

The sun is warm on your bones, and you can hear noises from above. Rhythmic chirping. Birds.

You sit down, staring up through the hole in the mountain.

Flowey's vines drape over your leg as he pops up beside you. "I live here, mostly," he says quietly. "It's so... cold everywhere else."

"even hotland?" you ask, but you understand what he means. Magma and machines aren't a real substitute for this, the sun and the birds and the fresh air.

He doesn't reply. You think he understood the question wasn't serious.

 

You come back. Flowey is almost always there. It becomes a tradition, and then a habit. 

Flowey tells you he used to be a real person, a monster, soul and all. You tell him you were born like this, soul and all.

Flowey tells you the woman in the Ruins is his mother, and that once upon a time, he loved her. You tell him about Papyrus, and that you'll never leave him because he doesn't deserve to be abandoned by anyone.

Flowey tells you that he hates Asgore. You tell him that you work for Asgore.

"he's the only other person i've told, y'know," you say, squinting up at the sun.

"Told what?"

"that i don't feel things."

"Really?" Flowey blinks at you. "What did he do?"

"he made me judge." You shrug. "said that he could trust me to be impartial. i'd be the best monster for the job."

Flowey snorts.

"Sounds like him," he mutters.

 

You sit in the sun.

Papyrus is your brother. He loves you. He cares for you. You are the most important thing in the world to him.

A bird calls, far above.

Flowey is soulless. He's a flower. He could kill you at any moment. He cares for no one but himself. He understands you.

Wind whistles through your skull.

Papyrus can never meet Flowey.

 

"I had a son, once," the woman behind the door whispers. "His name was Asriel."

 

Papyrus asks you where you've been disappearing to. "patrolling," you tell him. He's too excited to question it.

 

"What do you think about humans?" Flowey asks.

You shrug. "that there must be something interesting 'bout them if paps is so obsessed."

 

Flowey pops up in front of your 'dog stand. 

"There's a human in the Underground," he whispers. His eyes are wide. "I fought them, but they ran. They didn't hurt me. They refused."

You get up.

"paps will love this," you say. 

Your everlasting smile feels a little less forced than usual.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment, they make my day!
> 
> Edit: Follow-up is now posted! Please enjoy!


End file.
